I promise I won’t cry… May 23, 2008
Posted by kimayars Ramblings
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The horse above is Ockie. It’s not the most flattering picture of him, but I think it kind of captures his goofiness. The folks that read this who know him will certainly understand — he was definitely a character.
I think everyone remembers their first first love, whether it be people, dogs, horses, whatever (although I have yet to find that special connection with hermit crabs). Ockie was the first horse that I ever felt connected to. When I first met him he was a lesson horse at Elk Run. He was smooth, cute, and had a lovely canter. Beginners and advanced students alike adored him. He had a “been-there-done-that” attitude and, unlike a lot of lesson horses, had training. He knew stuff. He made learning new things easy because he could do it with his eyes closed. He was definitely a barn favorite.
In the fall of 2002 Ockie was ready to be retired from lessons. He was having trouble staying sound and required more advanced students to keep him off his forehand. However, full retirement wasn’t an option. He needed to move or arthritis would take him over. Ockie was 25.
At the time I was 1/4 leasing a QH named Nugget with my husband. Nugget CLEARLY favored my husband, and I was getting the itch to ride more consistently with one horse. I was offered a half-lease with Ockie. Leasing a 25-year-old horse seemed insane, especially one that was having some soundness issues. But I liked Ockie a lot more than I liked Nugget, so I took a chance.
That half-lease turned into a full-lease that lasted 2 years. In that two years I have some of my fondest memories. I rode Ockie through my pregnancy with my second daughter (yes, I rode into my 8th month), explored local trails like I never thought I could, learned lateral work and overcame my fear of canter. We went through glaucoma which caused him to lose sight in one eye, and a colic that happened the day before I went into labor (that is a very funny story that deserves its own post). Ockie was the only horse I have ever been able to half-pass on. When Sherene and I reminisce about the years we’ve been riding together, you can bet that Ockie will come up at least once.
He gave me two awesome years before my desire to get a horse of my own got the best of me. I wanted to show, go to clinics, and start building a relationship with *my* horse. As much as I loved Ockie, he was never mine. At the time that made a big difference. I terminated my lease and bought a mare. Ockie went to his former owner’s place to retire. He was happy, healthy, and went to an amazing farm to be loved by the one who loved him most.
This past week Ockie passed away at the grand old age of 31.
I’m certainly sad, but I’m happy too. I have heard that he went peacefully and that’s what I would have wanted most for him. It would break my heart to know that his last moments were in pain due to colic or some other accident. He had a great life, and spent his last few years with his true love, Kaye. If she reads this blog, I hope that she understands how much he belonged with her. I feel that she is responsible for making him into the awesome horse that he was, and I thank her for allowing me to share a part of his life with her.
So the mare didn’t work out for me, and that’s why I have Tigger now. And even though Tigger and Ockie are very different, they are also one of the same. I have found “true love” in Tigger, much like I did with Ockie. But Ockie will always be my first.
I guess I lied. A tear just hit my keyboard. 
Comments
I am sorry for you, it is always hard to lose a friend. He was beautiful.
Brought a tear to my eye as well. Sorry for your loss, Kim.
Sorry to hear about Ockie, he looked like a sweet and generous horse. I know what you’re going through.
Your story sounds very much like my time with a 29 year old Appendix QH called Lightning. He was my best bud. I took lessons, trail rode him alone and had my first real gallop on him. Still the best horse I ever had the pleasure to ride. By that I mean he was so good for me, despite not having a lot of knowledge for english riding, but he was a character and very trustworthy. I stopped riding him for the same reasons you stopped riding Okie. Lightning was put down 6 months after I stopped leasing him. I still miss him terribly and hope one day I’ll find another appendix like him.
*big hugs*
Kim,
Ockie was 1 in 10,000 - the perfect lesson horse, a great friend, a complete clown, a studmuffin of great passion and a wonderful co-worker. I feel privilaged to have known him and worked with him. Thank you, Kaye, for letting him live with us all those years.
Yes, Kaye was Ockie’s mom and main squeeze, and a really great mom. But YOU, Kim, were the most dedicated, loving leaser-mom I have EVER seen in all my decades in horses. You two were a joy to teach, with Ockie guiding you to your famous “epiphanies” of dressage. My favorite student and my favorite horse - I always looked forward to your lessons. You two cracked up everyone in the barn with BOTH of your senses of humor. You cared for him with great dedication and he loved you, his special person. He was lucky to have known you.
I love the picture you chose - it’s perfect! Ockie was a goofy, talented, affectionate, traveling-spots-on-four-legs, nutty but noble joker who brought joy and knowledge to so many. Run with the wind, Ockie.
Love to you, Kaye and Ockie
Thank you for a very special time in my life
Barb
Kim, I am so sorry to hear about Ockie. He sounds like such a great horse. I’m sure you’ll miss him.
i am catching up on reading blogs. this is a little late but i am sorry for your loss, too. what a school master. he sounds like the perfect mentor. and according to barb’s post, you were the perfect ‘mom’.
You got me. Good thing the guy next to me on the bus has his nose in his book or he’d wonder why I’m sniffling